Silly, silly child. There are plenty of other sources of calcium to build strong bones.

Like broccoli, or kale.

Or just accept that a lifetime of horrible health problems are worth not having to degrade the quality of your happiness by consuming kale.

And I just know somebody is going to read this and say, “Ooh, I actually love kale. I know a great brownie recipe that swaps out the chocolate for kale, and you can’t even tell the difference.”

Such people are either liars or completely lacking in taste.